Just got this email from our home study coordinator:
I received your home study packet towards the end of last week - thank you! I did want to inform you that your FBI prints were rejected - don't worry - this happens more than you'd think. The reason that they gave was that there was some sort of issue with how the prints were taken. I am going to mail you a new fingerprint card, along with the notice from the FBI. You will need to have your prints re-done for the FBI only. The AK check came back fine. So, I will get this mailed out today.
*sigh* Just as the officer doing my prints the first time suspected. A minor bump in the road.
So, I'm hoping the new cards get here before Friday, the only day our PD does them, so that we aren't essentially waiting two more weeks. Guess who'll be moisturizing her hands like crazy this week...
Family Woven by Faith: Our journey of faith to bring our new daughter home from Ethiopia...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Home Study Packet Complete!
As I type this, our huge packet of home study paperwork is running through my copier!
We've had just one last piece of info to get together, and it's been weighing on me for weeks that it hasn't gotten done yet. (You know how I mentioned that it would be far easier to adopt before having biological children? Case in point).
Well, if she wasn't already sweet and helpful, I would think that Kindra offered to take the kids tonight just so that she didn't have to listen to me gripe and complain anymore that we still weren't done with our home study stuff. But because she is sweet and helpful, regardless of her motive, she did take the kids for a few hours tonight, fed them dinner, and gave us the uninterrupted time that we needed to finish it off!
I'm not sure if it's a reflection on my copier or the packet, but it's still going...
Anyway. I'm making a copy of the complete set of what I'm sending off, as I do with everything, just in case-even though I'll still mail it with delivery confirmation!
Ah, it's done. Want to know what's in it? Glad you asked.
- Application
- Office of Children's Services Clearance Form (2)
- Residency Disclosure Statement (2)...every city and state we've lived in since age 18, with approximate dates.
- Release of Information
- Adoptive Applicant Health Report (2)
- Financial Statement
- Verification of Employment (2)...I thought about having the kids sign off on mine as my employers, but figured it would be best to just write N/A.
- References Form (7 references: 2 family, and 5 people unrelated to you who hopefully like you and approve of you as parents)
- Autobiographical Outline (all 13 pages of it, times two)!
- Contract for Services
- Client Grievance Procedure
- Notice of Privacy Practices
- Birth certificate copy for all 5 of us
- Marriage certificate
- Front cover of 1040 tax returns for past two years.
- Plus...our FBI clearance should have been received by our social worker from our first set of fingerprints for background clearance.
All that, and a check for $800, and we're good to go! Our coordinator at Catholic Social Services will look over our packet and then will connect us with a home study writer to set up our interviews/home visits.
I know we still have a lot of hoops to jump through, but it feels soooo good to have this major chunk to check off. God is good! Now off to attack the dossier with a vengeance!
(Well...tomorrow night).
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Check that one off!
Mark and I had delightful date on Thursday, going to the Anchorage branch of the Dept. of Homeland Security. Kindra and Jordan came and watched the kids (thank you!), as we weren't sure exactly what the fingerprinting situation would be. The appointment notice stated this: WARNING! Due to limited seating availability in our lobby area, only persons who are necessary to assist with transportation or completing the biometrics worksheet should accompany you. So between the "warning" and the fact that our appointments were spaced an hour apart, we didn't think it best to try and bring the kids along.
We actually left about 7:45 a.m. for the 11 a.m. appt. (Which is pretty remarkable for me, but also on the appointment notice was this: IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR AS SCHEDULED, YOUR APPLICATION WILL BE CONSIDERED ABANDONED). Needless to say, we actually arrived in Anchorage in time to run one quick errand and get to the office by 10:40. We made our way through the security check at the front door...which was inclined to make me giggle at the extreme seriousness of all officers involved, made our way to the lobby (which would have been plenty spacious enough for our children to wait therein), and filled out the next required form.
The biometrics was actually kind of cool, both the fact that you're getting your prints taken digitally (hurray for no black, inky hands!), and that the computer tells in process if it's an acceptable print or not (most of my fingers took 4 tries each).
Why they timed our appointments the way they did is beyond me. We walked out of the building from our 11 a.m. and noon appointment times at 11:03. We felt badly we had rearranged Kindra's whole day for that, but who knew? Regardless, it feels great to have that one off the list of things to do! One step closer to our daughter!
We actually left about 7:45 a.m. for the 11 a.m. appt. (Which is pretty remarkable for me, but also on the appointment notice was this: IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR AS SCHEDULED, YOUR APPLICATION WILL BE CONSIDERED ABANDONED). Needless to say, we actually arrived in Anchorage in time to run one quick errand and get to the office by 10:40. We made our way through the security check at the front door...which was inclined to make me giggle at the extreme seriousness of all officers involved, made our way to the lobby (which would have been plenty spacious enough for our children to wait therein), and filled out the next required form.
The biometrics was actually kind of cool, both the fact that you're getting your prints taken digitally (hurray for no black, inky hands!), and that the computer tells in process if it's an acceptable print or not (most of my fingers took 4 tries each).
Why they timed our appointments the way they did is beyond me. We walked out of the building from our 11 a.m. and noon appointment times at 11:03. We felt badly we had rearranged Kindra's whole day for that, but who knew? Regardless, it feels great to have that one off the list of things to do! One step closer to our daughter!
Monday, May 18, 2009
God of the details
This post has been begging to be written for over two weeks now, but I wanted to spend some time with it. Now I'm trying to start it even though I have three children running around at large, just because I really want to get recorded how amazingly good God is to us in both the big and little details! Yet, there's lots of background thought processes I need to share to give an accurate picture of how profound it all is to us.
(Warning: Kind of long, and it's okay if only our nearest and dearest persist through it all. Of course, if you don't persevere through it, you'll miss seeing God work in a major way. Just go grab a cup of coffee...it might help).
In finishing up our home study autobiography, some of the questions pertain to how we will help our daughter stay connected with her culture, what issues we've considered in affirming her race, etc. For those of you close to us in conversation, you know this has been a major issue on our hearts. To try and understand our feelings on it, imagine deliberately, knowingly, sending your child off to, say, a birthday party. You know in advance that there will be several bullies who will be attending the party also, and that these bullies have wreaked havoc for the neighborhood kids. And, there will only be one adult there to chaperone 30-some kids. Would you go ahead and send your child to the party anyway? Probably not.
That's kind of what it feels like to plan on bringing home a child whom you "know" is going to face prejudice and ridicule based on their skin color...do you really think that's the best thing to do? To top it off, you then start reading blogs of adult adoptees of non-Caucasian races who are adamant that it's not the best thing to do, that it's near cruelty to have to be raised by white parents in all-white families and communities, and that life in an orphanage in their home countries would have been preferable to the lives they have lived as adoptees.
The commenter's point was well-timed for me, and really helped to round out the issue. So many orphans are left at orphanages not so that they will have a better life, but to simply live. Is wrestling through the issues of transracial adoptions and any forthcoming prejudice worth life? We think so. We know so. Or we wouldn't be doing it.
Now, from your perspective, these issues may be small details. To us, and to others, they're big ones. But no matter which way you slice it, our God is a God of the details. Let me explain.
Two weekends ago, Mark and I were unexpectedly blessed to get away for our Baptist Convention's Minister and Spouse retreat. Although we had attended in past years, we didn't want to divert extra money away from the adoption, so didn't plan on attending this year. One couple who had already registered and paid had a family situation come up, so we were contacted to see if we would attend in their stead. We gratefully accepted, and thanks to my mom and Rebecca, we had child care worked out within a few hours so that we could accept the invitation!
Due to Mark's work schedule, we knew we would miss the opening session and banquet, but would meet up with everyone for the only other teaching session on Saturday morning. We checked into the hotel, and were delighted to learn that breakfasts were going to be provided at IHOP! While we got to the restaurant Sat. a.m. in what would have normally been plenty of time, the place was packed with, well, a bunch of Baptist preachers and their wives. :) And it seemed that only one waitress was working. We entered IHOP the same time as two other couples, both of whom had on name tags already, so we knew they were with the Convention. As the hostess was giving us our wait time estimations, I quickly asked the other two couples if they would like to have us all sit together to be seated more quickly. Voila! Instant friends and meal companions, and instant seating as well!
We had a delightful time visiting and getting to know Frank and Marian and Mike and Pam, which we had plenty of time for with an unbelievably long wait for our meals. It was accompanied by a growing sense of guilt that we were going to be very late to the session. The only session. A short one, which we would miss, um, half of. Gulp.
When Pam, Marian, and I finally arrived in the women's session, the ladies were taking turns sharing stories of how their church families had been ministers of grace in their lives. I instantly knew what I was to share when it came my turn...and I shared how much grace our church family has given us in support of this adoption. They really are amazing at loving and helping and giving of themselves, saying (and really meaning) that while we get to raise this baby, she really belongs to all of them. :) The rummage sale, which required tons of time and effort on the part of a lot of people, is a prime example.
At the end of the session, a woman I had met before, who lives in Sol. near my parents, came right up and wanted to share her sister's blog address with me, since she had adopted twice from Africa. Where in Africa? I asked. You guessed it-Ethiopia. Granted, there are lots of people who have blogs who have adopted from Ethiopia. But her sister Crystal is different. She has a blog, has adopted from Ethiopia, and lives just 70 miles from us. An hour's drive, in a town I frequent, well, frequently. Are you with me on this? There are two other Ethiopian children that LIVE LOCALLY! (70 miles is local when you're in Alaska-just trust me on that one). And, ahem, they also, um, homeschool. And, um, they also...raise goats. Crystal and I haven't met each other in person yet, but she's like, my new best friend. :) And apparently they aren't the only ones in Sol. that have adopted from Ethiopia, so they actually get together for activities and such. I hope you get an inkling of HOW HUGE this is for us!
But back the retreat, there's more. Saturday evening, all the pastors and wives gather at a local restaurant for dinner. It's totally packed in there...like we were going to be the sardines being served or something. We pick our way around the tables to one of the few tables with seats still open (no, we weren't late, either!), and lo and behold...we get to dine with Frank and Marian again! It just cemented the rapport we had with them. They are just the sweetest couple, willing to share their wisdom. I'm the same age as their oldest child, so there's definitely a mentor-type relationship potential. Frank pastors a church in Anchorage, but they used to drive to S. regularly, so know our little town from passing through. It was such a blessing to gain good friends so quickly. But you want to know how neat God is in this process? Frank and Marian are black, and they couldn't have known how much we need them right now. And they are so thrilled for us to be adopting our baby girl, and are so encouraging to us that the transracial issues aren't the major issues. Marian urged me to realize that our baby's self-identity is not going to be forged through being around other people of color, but through the value we place on her. Marian placed her beautiful brown arm next to mine, pointed and said "this is not what matters. Love for her matters. God will handle all the rest."
Marian is now Auntie Mae, and wants to come down and help me learn how to take care of our baby's hair, among other things. :) We can hardly wait to continue getting to know them better.
So, as you can see, our God has done some amazing work in filling in some major details for us! We are nothing but grateful!
(Warning: Kind of long, and it's okay if only our nearest and dearest persist through it all. Of course, if you don't persevere through it, you'll miss seeing God work in a major way. Just go grab a cup of coffee...it might help).
In finishing up our home study autobiography, some of the questions pertain to how we will help our daughter stay connected with her culture, what issues we've considered in affirming her race, etc. For those of you close to us in conversation, you know this has been a major issue on our hearts. To try and understand our feelings on it, imagine deliberately, knowingly, sending your child off to, say, a birthday party. You know in advance that there will be several bullies who will be attending the party also, and that these bullies have wreaked havoc for the neighborhood kids. And, there will only be one adult there to chaperone 30-some kids. Would you go ahead and send your child to the party anyway? Probably not.
That's kind of what it feels like to plan on bringing home a child whom you "know" is going to face prejudice and ridicule based on their skin color...do you really think that's the best thing to do? To top it off, you then start reading blogs of adult adoptees of non-Caucasian races who are adamant that it's not the best thing to do, that it's near cruelty to have to be raised by white parents in all-white families and communities, and that life in an orphanage in their home countries would have been preferable to the lives they have lived as adoptees.
I do wholeheartedly believe that it is valuable to glean understanding from adult adoptees who are sharing their experience. But as one commenter pointed out, adult adoptees who say that it would be better to remain in an orphanage say so from this side of the experience, never having had to remain in an orphanage. How much easier to criticize a situation when you only live on the side of the experience in which you have enough food, a comfortable bed, and parents to love you, as imperfect as their love may be. In my newfound but growing understanding in this arena, this seems to be quite the extreme extrapolation to say that they would have been better off surrounded by children of their own race in an orphange situation, when they never had to live it.
The commenter's point was well-timed for me, and really helped to round out the issue. So many orphans are left at orphanages not so that they will have a better life, but to simply live. Is wrestling through the issues of transracial adoptions and any forthcoming prejudice worth life? We think so. We know so. Or we wouldn't be doing it.
So, while we feel completely confident in following the path we're on, we're trying our best to not be naive, to be wise about the challenges that we may face...all the while resting on the assurance that since God has led us in this direction, he will certainly give us the grace and resources to handle it all as we come to it.
Thus, we have been wrestling with thoughts on how to keep our daughter connected with the Ethiopian culture despite many roadblocks, such as the absence of a support group to gather with every once in a while (something pretty common in larger cities. Okay, maybe even smaller cities. Somehow our town of 250 doesn't quite make it in some areas...). We knew that perhaps we would have to spend more time in Anchorage, or even driving the kids back and forth to S. for soccer, knowing there are at least a few black families with kids there. Our town is just really lacking in the diversity department!
Now, from your perspective, these issues may be small details. To us, and to others, they're big ones. But no matter which way you slice it, our God is a God of the details. Let me explain.
Two weekends ago, Mark and I were unexpectedly blessed to get away for our Baptist Convention's Minister and Spouse retreat. Although we had attended in past years, we didn't want to divert extra money away from the adoption, so didn't plan on attending this year. One couple who had already registered and paid had a family situation come up, so we were contacted to see if we would attend in their stead. We gratefully accepted, and thanks to my mom and Rebecca, we had child care worked out within a few hours so that we could accept the invitation!
Due to Mark's work schedule, we knew we would miss the opening session and banquet, but would meet up with everyone for the only other teaching session on Saturday morning. We checked into the hotel, and were delighted to learn that breakfasts were going to be provided at IHOP! While we got to the restaurant Sat. a.m. in what would have normally been plenty of time, the place was packed with, well, a bunch of Baptist preachers and their wives. :) And it seemed that only one waitress was working. We entered IHOP the same time as two other couples, both of whom had on name tags already, so we knew they were with the Convention. As the hostess was giving us our wait time estimations, I quickly asked the other two couples if they would like to have us all sit together to be seated more quickly. Voila! Instant friends and meal companions, and instant seating as well!
We had a delightful time visiting and getting to know Frank and Marian and Mike and Pam, which we had plenty of time for with an unbelievably long wait for our meals. It was accompanied by a growing sense of guilt that we were going to be very late to the session. The only session. A short one, which we would miss, um, half of. Gulp.
When Pam, Marian, and I finally arrived in the women's session, the ladies were taking turns sharing stories of how their church families had been ministers of grace in their lives. I instantly knew what I was to share when it came my turn...and I shared how much grace our church family has given us in support of this adoption. They really are amazing at loving and helping and giving of themselves, saying (and really meaning) that while we get to raise this baby, she really belongs to all of them. :) The rummage sale, which required tons of time and effort on the part of a lot of people, is a prime example.
At the end of the session, a woman I had met before, who lives in Sol. near my parents, came right up and wanted to share her sister's blog address with me, since she had adopted twice from Africa. Where in Africa? I asked. You guessed it-Ethiopia. Granted, there are lots of people who have blogs who have adopted from Ethiopia. But her sister Crystal is different. She has a blog, has adopted from Ethiopia, and lives just 70 miles from us. An hour's drive, in a town I frequent, well, frequently. Are you with me on this? There are two other Ethiopian children that LIVE LOCALLY! (70 miles is local when you're in Alaska-just trust me on that one). And, ahem, they also, um, homeschool. And, um, they also...raise goats. Crystal and I haven't met each other in person yet, but she's like, my new best friend. :) And apparently they aren't the only ones in Sol. that have adopted from Ethiopia, so they actually get together for activities and such. I hope you get an inkling of HOW HUGE this is for us!
But back the retreat, there's more. Saturday evening, all the pastors and wives gather at a local restaurant for dinner. It's totally packed in there...like we were going to be the sardines being served or something. We pick our way around the tables to one of the few tables with seats still open (no, we weren't late, either!), and lo and behold...we get to dine with Frank and Marian again! It just cemented the rapport we had with them. They are just the sweetest couple, willing to share their wisdom. I'm the same age as their oldest child, so there's definitely a mentor-type relationship potential. Frank pastors a church in Anchorage, but they used to drive to S. regularly, so know our little town from passing through. It was such a blessing to gain good friends so quickly. But you want to know how neat God is in this process? Frank and Marian are black, and they couldn't have known how much we need them right now. And they are so thrilled for us to be adopting our baby girl, and are so encouraging to us that the transracial issues aren't the major issues. Marian urged me to realize that our baby's self-identity is not going to be forged through being around other people of color, but through the value we place on her. Marian placed her beautiful brown arm next to mine, pointed and said "this is not what matters. Love for her matters. God will handle all the rest."
Marian is now Auntie Mae, and wants to come down and help me learn how to take care of our baby's hair, among other things. :) We can hardly wait to continue getting to know them better.
So, as you can see, our God has done some amazing work in filling in some major details for us! We are nothing but grateful!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
USCIS Appointment!
Today we received our appointment notices from USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services)!
On March 27th, we filed our I600-A (Advance Processing of Petition to Classify Orphan as Immediate Relative). Our caseworker had mentioned that we should receive an appt. within a month to have our fingerprints done at the Anchorage USCIS office. She was pretty close!
Our appt. is for May 28th at 11 a.m. Who wants to babysit? :)
On March 27th, we filed our I600-A (Advance Processing of Petition to Classify Orphan as Immediate Relative). Our caseworker had mentioned that we should receive an appt. within a month to have our fingerprints done at the Anchorage USCIS office. She was pretty close!
Our appt. is for May 28th at 11 a.m. Who wants to babysit? :)
Monday, May 4, 2009
Slow Progress
I should clarify that the slow progress is on our part, but not on God's part!
For the past two weeks we have been trying to finish our home study paperwork, and I feel like I'm up against a brick wall with it. I think a large part of the problem is that I am so fearful of not getting it all right the first time...I don't want to miss anything or fill it out incorrectly, etc. As a result of my perfectionist tendencies raring their ugly head, I'm simply not getting to any of it until I can be sure to not be interrupted. Guess how often that happens? I would say this: If you feel God leading you to adopt, and you also plan on having biological children, I would highly recommend doing the adoption first, as you'll have much more time to devote to the process then!
On God's part, He's trucking right along with providing for us! Last week we were totally blown away to receive $1500 towards our adoption expenses! He has been so mind-boggling-ly faithful through all of this. But then again, He is God, so it shouldn't be mind-boggling at all, as it is part of who He is! I will say that we are exceedingly grateful!
For the past two weeks we have been trying to finish our home study paperwork, and I feel like I'm up against a brick wall with it. I think a large part of the problem is that I am so fearful of not getting it all right the first time...I don't want to miss anything or fill it out incorrectly, etc. As a result of my perfectionist tendencies raring their ugly head, I'm simply not getting to any of it until I can be sure to not be interrupted. Guess how often that happens? I would say this: If you feel God leading you to adopt, and you also plan on having biological children, I would highly recommend doing the adoption first, as you'll have much more time to devote to the process then!
On God's part, He's trucking right along with providing for us! Last week we were totally blown away to receive $1500 towards our adoption expenses! He has been so mind-boggling-ly faithful through all of this. But then again, He is God, so it shouldn't be mind-boggling at all, as it is part of who He is! I will say that we are exceedingly grateful!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Great date!
Mark and I had a date today! After my dr. appt, we met at the police department to have our fingerprints done! And yes, Mark did take me out for lunch afterward! Kind of like having on OB appt, I reckon!
A huge thank you to Kindra and her kids for coming to take care of our kids this morning. At first we had planned on just bringing them, but with them still being potentially contagious with chicken pox, they would have had to stay in the van all morning with Mark while I had my dr. appt. and fingerprinting...not to mention that Mark is positively swamped with work right now and didn't really have all morning!
Please pray that our fingerprints are accepted on the first go-round! The officer doing mine said that if they're very picky about it, mine will probably have to be re-done, as I've got some deep creases across my thumbprints. I guess that's what happens when you change diapers and scrub bathrooms and clean kitchens and wipe noses for a living...all that handwashing after your jobs dries your hands out! I asked if I could just go wash my hands in warm water and re-do them right then, but he said that I would have to use moisturizer consistently for a week for it to make a difference. A very nice guy, but very funny to be getting hand-care tips from a big guy in uniform with a gun belted to his side.
A huge thank you to Kindra and her kids for coming to take care of our kids this morning. At first we had planned on just bringing them, but with them still being potentially contagious with chicken pox, they would have had to stay in the van all morning with Mark while I had my dr. appt. and fingerprinting...not to mention that Mark is positively swamped with work right now and didn't really have all morning!
Please pray that our fingerprints are accepted on the first go-round! The officer doing mine said that if they're very picky about it, mine will probably have to be re-done, as I've got some deep creases across my thumbprints. I guess that's what happens when you change diapers and scrub bathrooms and clean kitchens and wipe noses for a living...all that handwashing after your jobs dries your hands out! I asked if I could just go wash my hands in warm water and re-do them right then, but he said that I would have to use moisturizer consistently for a week for it to make a difference. A very nice guy, but very funny to be getting hand-care tips from a big guy in uniform with a gun belted to his side.
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