Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A dad's perspective

The large majority of "adoption blogs" that we follow are written by moms. Perhaps it's a woman's verbal propensity (not that I have one, lol), but there are very few blogs in this genre written by men. So I think in some cases, it makes it harder for adoptive dads to find a voice for what they experience throughout this process. I'm sure that (aside from the very obvious physical aspects of carrying a child), both a biological pregnancy and a paper pregnancy are processed and experienced very differently for dads than for moms.

And while I can't say that the lack of dad-written experiences out there has made it difficult for Mark, I can say that he hasn't had the same quantity of experiences to which to relate.

So, it was neat for us to visit at the home of a fellow pastor and his wife a few weekends ago, as he and his wife adopted from India fourteen years ago. Even then, from the stories they shared, the paperwork process was long and sometimes frustrating. But in wrapping up a story about his request for a new social worker for their home study process, this pastor leaned in and quietly and sincerely added something to the effect of "all the headache and frustration from the process will just disappear the moment you hold that baby in your arms. You won't even remember it."

I doubt that he knew how profound a statment that was for us, coming from him. But it was an encouragement from God, in timing we can't even understand. And so we write them down. (Dt. 4:9)

PS: Thank you, Robin and Karen!

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